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When I make up my mind, and sit to write about this inexplicable genius of a man, all I feel is Goosebumps and an indescribable sense of immense pride.


I am proud of the fact that I live in a society where human beings like him exist. I am proud of the fact that I breathe the same air which they are breathing. Oh! What a man he is… I can see you are now a little excited to know what this man did to earn such a dramatic build up. I assure you, this guy really deserves it. His feats are countless and to narrate every “rational”, “intelligent” deed of his, it takes a lifetime. So, I have decided to talk about just a few incidents which I personally witnessed, featuring our Mr. Intelligent. You could address him with any positive adjective, because he deserves it.


I met this great man in a temple, and I know what you are thinking, Gods and great men are found in temples. So, I met him there and he was so engrossed in prayer that there was a circle of light behind his head. It was my hallucination but such was the sincerity in his prayer. The genuineness of his devotion that flowed like blood in his veins was so evidently radiant that it made me hallucinate. I accept, I am a bit of a psycho, and I am bit of a retard, but I should say this, if his level of IQ is set as the level of normalcy, then each one of us will be branded retards, even Einstein and Newton. My friend was, is and will be one of the forgotten heroes.


So, the hero of our tale here finally completes his prayer and went around the temple for 11 times. He had this amazing charisma that my eyes stayed glued to him all the way. And the charisma manipulated me to follow him, as he gracefully walked out the shrine.

He suddenly stopped and turned to his right, kindling my curiosity again. There was a poor cow standing to his right. He moved his hand and gracefully fished a banana from the bag he was carrying and fed it to the cow. The cow nourished it and looked at him with such respect, the same way I was looking at him. He patted the cow’s head and fed her another banana. I was so moved by this ability of his to love animals. This guy seemed to actually communicate with his eyes to the cow.


“You are a kind man, sir” I said walking towards him. Pride was brimming in my eyes and he seemed to read it.

“Yes, love is God. It is only when you love selfless creatures like this, you feel God the most” he said, assuming an air of a hermit.

“So true, sir” I said. I had become his disciple and a fan.

“Look at her eyes, the satisfaction in it. God resides here, my friend” he said. I should be honest that I actually found him funny for a moment, as he sounded carried away by the admiration in my eyes. But again, as I said, I am a retard and I have this tendency to find a person admirable, superior yet cheap and funny, all at the same moment. But this guy really was a great man; I want my readers to trust that the problem is actually with me, definitely not the hero.

“True, true” I managed to say and though I concealed my laughter, I giggled a bit. I felt glad that he actually took it as a smile of admiration and even nodded as if he was receiving honours. At that point too, I admired his ability to think something negative as something good and I also laughed within because he really was funny not to see the sarcasm in me.

“Try practicing love, my child. Love is God. Spread love” he said and walked away. His walk now bore a superior air. His chests were up and there was a smile pasted on his lips, which was more “goat-like” and which I found really funny. Again, I want my readers to note that, I am such a retard.

This was the first incident I had with him and I should be honest that this man really left an impression within me. I was reliving the scene again and again and I failed to take this guy out of my retarded brain. I slowly started to crave for another encounter with him. Though I am a moron, I believe that if you crave for something, wish for something really bad, one way or the other you attain it. See, I can talk like my hero too. Such is the impression he has on me.

Assortment of fruits

So, I was walking one morning when I saw a house decorated with floors and fruits in the entrance. It seemed like a function. I glanced at the entrance and a bright white light almost blinded me, I closed my eyes and opened and there he stood, like a hermit and the same “goat-like” smile on his face. I had happy tears in my eyes and a sarcastic smile on my lips when I saw him. You know, there is this pleasure of admiring someone from a distance, and you know it is, at times more pleasurable than actually meeting a person and talking. No, no, I am not saying my hero is not worth meeting and talking, it’s just that he glitters when watched from a distance too. I was admiring him and that is when I realized I wasn’t the only one who wanted a meeting with him badly. The poor cow was back and it seemed to smile too at the sight of my hero.

My hero was so busy in a call that he didn’t notice either the fan with two legs or the fan with four legs. While the fan with two legs was feasting the radiance of him, the poor fan with four legs was feasting on the fruits and leaves that were kept for decorating the entrance. Suddenly my hero noticed the poor cow and the next second he was hitting the poor cow black and blue, he was burning with such rage that a bright red light radiated from him and blinded my eyes. He hit it with such spite and the poor cow just ran away to save its life. And my hero’s eyes met mine. But he didn’t seem to remember me. No one remembers, cares for or even loves a retard like me. And even if someone loves me, it isn’t gonna last long. I am such a blessed creature.

“Can’t you say that the cow was ruining the decorations?” he asked, his eyes red in anger. I suddenly found him hilarious, because when he said “cow” he said it with extra effort that his mouth suddenly attained the shape of an “ape” for a second.

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“Why are you laughing?” he asked with his hands on his hips, and his belly expanding and contracting since he was breathing heavily.

“No, sir, I didn’t notice it” I lied.

“Fine” he said and stared at me.

“But it was just a poor little soul, sir. You shouldn’t have hit it” I said. I am a master when it comes to intimidating people; of course all lunatics like me are masters in it.

“What? He is a filthy cow; I invested a lot of money and time to decorate this. Now, it’s ruined because of that dumb, fat cow. I don’t know what all the people will think of me today. This looks really messy, people are going to laugh behind my back” he said, slapped his forehead and walked into his house. I stood there, admiring him. I was admiring him, because I never could behave like him, maybe that’s why he is a “hero” and I am a “moron”. The cow eating the fruit in hunger when he gave it to him was so divine to him and now the same cow eating the fruits that he had for decoration infuriated him. I understand, nobody welcomes stealing, I am a bigger fan of him and I noticed something which most of you wouldn’t have noticed. He was infuriated not because of the deed; he was actually irritated about what people will think of him now. This hero again made me drown in a deep thought process. I can sit in the same place one whole day and think of something. I am mentioning again that I am a moron, and morons are like that, they could just think of something for the whole day without even moving.

After one whole day of thinking, I was just left with one question in the end.

“Does society and social conformity sow the seeds of hatred within us?”

Suddenly my stupid brain started throwing situations where it really does. First thing featured my hero, who was able to love a creature when alone, but when he was about to present himself in a society, the compassion faded away and he hurt it, just because he wanted himself to be good to the society. I thought of a father proud of the fact that his son is a writer, but when introduced in the society, hid the fact that his son was a writer and announced he was searching for a job, with fake spite in his tone. I thought about a boyfriend romancing his not-so-beautiful (to his eyes, of course) in private, but not minding her in public, and behaving as if it was she who was clinging to him, not him. All these made me think that, the presence of society somewhere kindles some negativity within us and the urge to be one with the society, to present ourselves good to the society makes us a man like our own “hero”.

After all those turmoil of thoughts in my head, my mind finally rested on one final realization. I realized that I can never be my “hero” and I can never become like him and at that moment I felt it is actually easier to be a lunatic, moronic retard like me, than to be a “hero” like him. He will always stay a “hero” and I will always stay this stupid retard who admires him.

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