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The Love Tank Theory: How to Make Love Actually Last

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  • “Our relationship is emotionally dead.”
  • “We never talk anymore.”
  • “My partner is distant, and we never have any fun.”

My inbox is full of emails like this.

These couples often ask, “How did we get here?”

Have you ever had that thought about your relationship?

Lasting love is like taking a lifelong road trip. Many of us get lost during our journey. Maybe we take a wrong turn by saying something mean, and in our own hurt we avoid making an attempt to turn back around to get on the correct road. Eventually, our relationship runs out of gas and we become stranded.

The absence of loving moments of connection may lead you to check into what Dr. Gottman calls the Roach Motel for Lovers. It’s a nasty place where conflict goes unrepaired, you feel emotionally abandoned, and you consistently become so emotionally flooded that it becomes impossible to resolve your issues.

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